I was on a particular website, reading the words of a grumpy old man talking about the entrance and hiring process and how he is tough on the entrance steps. :) and my eyes wondered to the side of the screen in which i saw a korean dating site, and instantly the thought popped in my head.... REAL KOREANS! I can talk to them! and without any second thought, caution or moment of sanity i clicked on the advertisement. The emotion of excitement overcame me and in a moments haze and haste i filled out the new membership part and loaded a pic of myself. It wasn't until twenty minutes later after my profile was set up, my page was beautiful and i took the personality servey that i paused. My fingers froze over the keyboard, i sucked in a deep breath, and looked to my age old Gateway ceiling and said out loud, "Ash! What are you doing?!"
It hit me in that moment that I had joined a Korean singles site, and im not even Korean. eh.... I realized in that moment as I saw my mothers face in my head. No wonder, nothing her children does, surprises her anymore. We do some pretty crazy and random things and for the most part dont even realize it! My poor mother
I began to look back on my track record of stupid things i have done that made sense in the moment.
1. Going to a priest for confession
2. Playing Soccer to play with my African man fren ;)
3. Going on a 'spy mission' to sneak up on a dungeons and dragons (those kind of people) costume party. haha!
4. Going through all of a walmart asking every man how tall he was, and if i could stand next to him if he was 5'6''
These are but a few of what i can think of. However, i feel as if my point has been made. Do these examples make me seem strange :) most likely. I think, on the surface what seems at first strange when explained the intentions give clarity. In all of these examples i had a reason as to why i did something. However, i realize that in those moments rationality for an inside need for answers were more paramount to me. I have come to call these beautiful moments as Ashley moments. because these are Ashley moments in which only i could have come up with.
I havent deleted my Korean profile :) haha! not yet. Because there are some cute Koreans on that website. But the questions begs to be asked, "What have i learned from this experience?" and the beautiful thing about my Ashley moments, is that i always ask myself this question afterwards. Why did i do it? and what did i learn from it?
This is what i learned. I learned that in times like that moment, you just gotta let life be slow. Don't try to rush the future. because in many cases (if not all) it can't be done. Sometimes i am to eager for the future to get here that i forget the beauty of the moment in which i breath. I am so excited about getting my TESOL certification and graduating. I am so excited about going to Korea and teaching English. I am SO excited about taking in the people, culture, music, and FOOD :) I am just excited! that i realize i can get carried away. If i would just lift my eyes and look out the window i could see a majestically unique landscape that God has blessed me to experience. I can see friends that God has put in my life and i can hold and love unconditionally family that has always been there for me in this moment. I learned to just live life for the now and wait for the future to meet me here.
and as a disclaimer: I sincerely, did NOT join the website to find my 'true love.' The thought did not even cross my mind until after the profile had been made and i realized on what website i was on. I just wanted to talk to a Korean lol . . . I know it sounds silly. And it is. :) but that is just the beauty of being Ashley. Sometimes i do silly things without thinking.
THE END.
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