Paper & Pen

Please save me words; my thoughts.

Confusion. confusion. confusion...

It's out of control. I have lost all sense of up and down, 

and sickly I spin round and round.

Please save me pen; on this paper you fall.

Like dread on a gavel as it confesses the law.

I wait for the sound when wood meets wood

but inside I already know the verdict as I should.

I'm broken in shreds and torn from within.

Like paper mache the pieces glued in rends.

But pieces they remain to be used and beaten.

These insides of mine have slowly been eaten.

With the acid I feel dread in my limbs.

It is playing its music through the strings of my veins.

Every aspect of my body can feel the force of it

as the answer I know runs its course within it.

Baby you ask what this thing is that I feel?

The fear in my heart that doesn't seem quite real

You ask me to tell the truth but its me I can't handle.

I lie to myself with the seconds that follow.

Meet me here, where I am, lying in my sin.

I am lying in the shame of life that kept me warm within.

The blanket has been torn back and naked is all I see.

White flesh pale in the stars

and the moon stands silent in angry freeze.

The truth? The Truth?! 

You beg me for the truth?!

Please don't make me utter what I fear I see in you!

The truth? The truth?!

The bitter ends truth?!

Don't ask me to sputter what I don't dare say to you!

I begged. I begged!

I begged on my knees. . . 

They scraped, fell raw and in pain I lay wondering.

I dare not get up, I don't deserve the honor.

But here I am in a bed of petals, lace and flowers.

warm sunlight. Sun rays are on my skin.

A soothing passion in the air, its forgiving and quite unfair.

This life that we live. . . 

This life that we breathe. . . 

We only have one chance

but if I die and fate asks me;

I'll say I wasn't given a chance to meet the sunrise

and life silently ended me before I given my sight.