There are no John Doe's in Christ

She was beautiful! even in her dirty clothing, that smelled of smoke. Her hair was mussed and yet held a soft golden luster that made her pretty. However it was her eyes that takes siege of your soul. If ever there was a moment in my life that someones eyes reached out and jerked me out of my state it was hers. they were blue, striking, gorgeous. like an ocean wave crashing upon the rocks of life. her eyes were truly the windows to her soul and i saw what was inside.

We were in Arkansas, and it was a Sunday. The children had come in for Sunday school and we were doing a special service for the kids. the service was a great success. the kids responded favorably to the music, the puppets, but most importantly the message. I watched as each child came to the front of the altar and began to worship and seek after God and so i began to make my rounds to pray with the children and help in whatever way i could. As i was praying with a little girl and her little brother i looked up and saw her. it was just a casual glance up from praying with the two children but my soul saw her soul. my head jerked up and she looked lost. She was just standing there. I don't even think she knew what to do.

How can i define the word lost to you. For i had never encountered this lost ever in my life. It was a death in her eyes that portrayed a death within her. her blue eyes were a cold grave to the hot spirit she once had. she was truly broken, hopeless and wandering this world with no purpose. and i saw that in one second. it only took a casual glance up to see who she was. she is a girl in need.

She was staring at me and i still do not know why. and so i asked her through lip talking if she had been prayed with and she said no. i asked her if she wanted me to pray with her and she said yes. so i removed myself from the two children seeking God and walked over to her.
I realized three VERY crucial things through this precious soul.
1. When a person see's the Holy Ghost in action, they really have NO clue what is going on
2. That you cannot rescue people from their worlds but you can impact it
3. There are no Jane Doe's in God's world

I think many times we take for granted what we know. We are so blessed to fully understand the gospel of Christ. That we forget that many people do not understand 1. the terminology but 2. the fullness of the Godhead. Many people have never even heard the name of Jesus. Now i know as you reading this you are thinking "well i know this already" and you are right. So did i . . . until that day. I realized it truly for the first time. When we are ministering to people we need to start from block A, and sometimes finding that block is SO hard because its a dusty block you may have never touched before because you have never had to before. but with this lost generation you cannot start from where you are at, but you need to start from where they are at. I know in bible college i am trained to speak with people and try to explain the Holy Ghost and who God is but with this beautiful girl it was so hard. She was so far removed from my world, and yet she was so close.

I have the privilege to say that my life has a very varied background. When i was younger it wasn't so easy for me to call it a privilege, i called it a curse. But as i sat with that young girl with dirty clothes and beautiful blue eyes i knew that i could relate to her world because in some ways i had experienced that world for myself. You see i started with trying to explain what the Holy Ghost was but i wasn't getting anywhere and so i ended by saying this: "Do you just want me to stay with you" and i watched as her eyes still shielded, hurt and confused realized that i cared and she nodded in silence. and so i sat with her. Sometimes just being with a person is enough for them to see that God cares. She didn't need a bible lesson right there, she needed a person to care.

Now instantly after having a conversation with her, i felt so immensely drawn to her. I cannot describe the pull i felt towards her. but i learned a very important lesson in the process. You cannot many times rescue (remove) people from their worlds but you can be a shaking force that impacts it. I realize that the time i had with her was limited but as she left and waved goodbye to me i felt in my heart that what i had done was enough. As she was walking away and i began to mourn and tear up, God whispered into my heart, "You planted the seed Ashley" and this is why: because i loved her and showed i did, i told her about God, I told her that God loved her, that the church was a safe place to come to and she should continue to come, and then i asked her if she was interested in a bible study to better understand God and the Holy Ghost. Do you know what she said to that question? SHE SAID YES!!! now i know that i can't be the one that gives her the bible study or the one to watch her get the Holy Ghost in the future or witness her baptism but by the grace and mercies of God i was the one who sat next to her when she needed someone and i was the one that took the time to let her see a different world than her own and trust me that in itself is enough.

And lastly, as i watched her walk away, i realized that i DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME! I felt heart broken, she refused to share her name or even take a picture with me. She was so protective of herself. But let me share with you a little something about her. She was drawn to me to and this is how i know.

I had left to go take pictures of all the kids praying when i knew that she was okay. As i was making my rounds praying and taking pictures of all the kids i turned my head to my left and she was suddenly standing next to me. She is only about 12 or 13 of age and she asked real quietly "can i take pictures?" How could i refuse her? I couldn't! and so i handed over the camera and with a slight grin i watched as she snapped pictures of my fellow students and of the kids in the altar. She came alive in those few moments and i realized that she was happy. No i do not know Jane Doe's name, but it was in that second as she was walking away from me that i realized; there are no Jane Doe's in Gods world. Though i may never see her ever again i can rest assure that God has her name written on the palm of His hand, that the number of the hairs on the top of her head he knows, that he can see the house she lives in, the hurts that are her burdens, I can be self assured that God has a plan and a purpose for her. And though i can do no more for Jane Doe, i know and find peace in the thought that GOD IS NOT DONE IN HER LIFE!

There are no Jane Doe's in Gods world, God cares and loves everyone. Though my reach be limited Gods hands and heart touch everything. I put Jane Doe in Gods hands and i know God will take care of her!

I'll never forget saying to her, "Must be rough right now." She nodded. I said, "Just surviving aren't you?" and she began to tear up and said yes. those two words were enough for me to realize that she is so precious. I don't know her life story, i don't even know what she is facing at home, or at school but God does and i know that he will take care of her. There are so many hurts and pains in this world and i saw that in Jane Doe's eyes, but i pray that through my actions i was a safe haven and momentary escape from the world she lived in. This is why we do what we do. This is why Gateway exists, and we minister to different churches and evangelize. NOT because of the power or money we can get but because we see a world in need. We see a people desperate for something different. Something that can help them survive, give them peace in the night, give them joy in their heart, and rest in their soul. Being lost is a non stop horror flick, you are constantly on edge, just waiting for the monster to jump out from the corner and send your life off kilter, but when they come in contact with God it is nothing they are expecting. He is the truest love story for all mankind and He wishes to bring all the Jane Doe's and John Doe's in the world to a peaceful place inside where they can have joy beyond their circumstance. So that they can have faith and hope even when it doesn't look like anything good can come out of the situations they are in. That is why we do what we do, because we want God to change their lives like he has changed ours.

I will never forget Jane Doe, just as i hope she will never forget me.