A Giving God

He really is a giving God! What an amazing concept! :) and yet its a concept that most people 'know' and don't believe. Many people lately, with me included have brought up the  topic of how willing God is with providing for His children, or even blessing us with small things and big things such as miracles. I was reading Franklin Jentezen's book titled: "Fasting" when an interesting concept of rewards and faith are given publicly when we have a private practice of fasting.
"Matthew 6:  God delights in giving rewards. Not only that, but He says that when giving, praying, and fasting are practiced in your life, He will 'reward you openly.'" (15)

"And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly i say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face , that you fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." - Matthew 6:16-18

Yet while i read this passage in the Bible later and also reflected on what i learned in Jentezen's book the idea of reward and building faith continued to occupy my thoughts. Why is it that we rarely 'see' miracles, or that we as a people have a hard time believing that God will not bless us?
1. We wonder why we see no miracles

Matthew 13:53-58 tells the sad story of unbelief in the town of Nazareth when He came to minister. As a result of their unbelief only a few miracles could take place. I wrote an article on miracles last year. if you want to read it here is the link: A Miracles Death. Americans so easily get comfortable in this society of food is always on the table, clothes are always on your back, public education is available, even homeless people have shelters that are available. We have gotten comfortable in a nation of lavish living, and because of that mindset of living we subconsciously do not feel any need for dependence in our creator. That was the same problem with the people of Nazareth, they felt no need or dependence for a man they 'thought they new' and as a result Jesus could not perform many miracles there.
"So they were offended at Him. But Jesus said to them, 'a prophet is not without honor except in his own country and in his own house.' (58) Now He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief." -Matthew 13:57-58
So you may ask what do miracles and faith have to do with fasting or even God being giving? I learned something very important about fasting. Fasting builds faith, and without faith miracles can never happen. And if a nation is more concerned with material possessions, earthly security rather than spiritual security then the fewer and far between miracles slowly seems to disappear until it literally becomes a legend or myth. For instance if you watch any health show, or medical drama (whatever the show may be) one thing that is constant is; do miracles exist? or is it the happening of extreme random chance?

and when miracles become a rarity then the question begins to form in peoples mind the second sub-point
2. A inane feeling that God is stingy is assumed (why?)

Even i, a Christian sometimes have questioned God and have asked Him if He is even "willing" to bless me. I have something written in my journal that struck me, and so i feel compelled to share it with you. Keep in mind that this was a down and low point in my spiritual walk and though it was a low point people of any nationality, race or gender would at one point ask this basic question at one point, "Sometimes digging deeper than the surface hurts to much. Because, through all the emotions; trying to define whats wrong cannot be accomplished. I know for certain that i have lost the ability to dream, in place of 'reality' where all i see are the blocks and barriers. Yes, a part of me knows that God can do anything but the other part thinks that He doesn't want to."

Have you ever felt that way? The feeling that God is completely able to create a miracle in your life (because he is God)  but deep down inside the hidden part of your heart doesn't believe that he is willing to. Why is that? Why on a certain level do we get to the point where we can no longer believe that a God that is all loving, all powerful, all gracious and merciful would not be giving? is not mercy and grace itself an act of giving. Its an act of something we most definitely do not deserve and yet we cannot believe that He is giving. . .
that brings me to my third sub point. it is a realization or a clear view into what really is happening in the spiritual world.
3. Could our blessings (already given) be held back rather than non-existent. God is wanting to release them         but. . . He is waiting on you. What is he waiting on? He is waiting for you to fast. the problem was never with God it was always with us. We are either turning from God or unwilling to listen to His voice.

I am reading multiple books these days. I strongly recommend for everyone to read them at one point. the one i am mentioning right now is titled: "The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God" Authored by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. Now the reason i am mentioning this book is because it gives the relationship between God and Man in the view of Gods eyes. While reading this book, i become heart broken for a husband (God) that continually watches his wife commit adultery with another man.

"When we reach the prophets, we get a glimpse at what it feels like to be God. Reading the prophets, says Yancey, is like hearing a lovers' quarrel through the apartment wall. Eavesdrop on the argument and catch a glimpse of his heart: . . . I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me . . . What fault did you find in me that you strayed so far from me? You are a swift she-camel running here and there, sniffing the wind in her craving- in her heat who can restrain her? should i not punish them for this? should i not avenge myself? I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. What have i done to make you hate me so much? (From Jeremiah) . . . Return to me and i will return to you. Yet you have said harsh things about me. You have said, 'there's no pay-off in this relationship. It's not worth loving God. (From Malachai)" (79-80)

Now i don't know about you but when i read those lines i was overcome with shame. Over and over i have questioned God, "Why has this happened? why hasn't this happened?" and all along God is asking, "Why have you turned away from me? Why do you not have faith? Why do you not love me?" Can you not hear the brokenness and pain in His voice? Its a deeper loss than i can ever understand.

Another moment in my journal i was writing and just pouring out my feelings (all of it) on parchment and i felt conviction in my heart. I had a thought pop in my head, 'you say you have a hard time praying because you don't know what to say, but when i see you writing you aren't struggling at all with words." instantly i lashed out and said, "God do you want me to be lonely for the rest of my life?!" It really was a selfish thing to ask and a gentle, broken, and almost nigh uncatchable whisper washed across my soul as we said, "I just want you to love me." Oh!!! even writing this brings me to tears. That my God and Creator would be so willing to show me His desire for me is amazing. I was humbled beyond compare and still am.

Above all else God is desiring a closeness with His creation. He desires his children to want to know Him. Above all else He is controlled not by power but by love. Relationship should always come before provision. Because when you have an intimate relationship with God everything else will fall into place. How do you obtain that intimate relationship? through praying, giving, and fasting. Jentezen refers to it as the 'three fold cord' "A threefold cord is not easily broken" Ecclesiastes 4:12

I think this last quote sums up my thoughts for this article perfectly! Remember God is more than giving because He is love. He is waiting for His creation to seek Him in private before a public reward can be made. "I want you to understand that there are some 'promised lands' and some 'promises' that God has for you. In fact, we have an entire book of promises, but some of them will never be realized as long as King Stomach rules your appetite and controls your life. God had supernatural blessings to pour out on the Israelites in the wilderness, but they preferred their carnal appetites. Likewise, God wants to pour out supernatural blessings in our lives, but they will never be realized if we are not willing to seek Him in fasting and prayer." (26)