In the Land of Cowboys

I looked down to my phone screen, and with slight dismay sat and pondered the question on my screen. should I accept or decline roaming? with quiet inner compliance I declined and turned my phone onto airplane mode.  There was absolutely no reception up in the middle of nowhere (called Peyton Colorado). For the past ten minutes I had been driving on dirt road that painted my van (named Lou) a ghetto sheen of tan dust. We had finally arrived on the property, snuggled comfortably next to a gigantic plateau. The Coniferous trees wonderfully camouflaged the little red house with a long wooden porch. and the air was clean and crisp as my lungs greedily took each breath in. This place truly was a oasis away from the city. . . If you considered Colorado Springs a city. :) Up against the immense silence in Peyton Colorado, Colorado Springs' noise would seem like an intrusion upon the senses.

I took in the beauty of nature in its organic form! the uninterrupted beauty away from civilization. Though people have made this place their home for many years, it was nature itself that hold the reigns in this terrain. I could feel it in the dirt that went between the toes of my sandaled feet, I could smell it in the odorous smell of pine and weed.The air was fresh and clear from the lack of pollution or manufactured life. The trees were wild and free, not just two to the front yard and three to the back. The wild grass grew, and had no limit on how tall it wished to be. the weeds had no fear of being plucked from the ground by their roots and dying while vulnerable to the red hot sun. The mountain lions came and went as they pleased. Life all together was wild in its purest form and unabandonly free!

I knew I was no longer in the city when the cars on the dirt road slowed to a crawl because a baby calf got free from the fencing and was now running parallel with the traffic. I knew I was in the middle of nowhere when all the land was vast and housing was spotted in the distance as minute specks on the horizon. I knew I was in the middle of nowhere when I had no service on my cell phone, and all hope for outside contact felt lost. This was a land of cowboys not of business men. A land of wranglers and hats rather than suits and berets. This was a land that had an appeal for the introvert, and i was just introverted enough to be seduced.

We went into the red house to make dinner with plans to work in the green house in a couple hours. As Linda grilled the marinated steaks, I sat on the couch reading magazines her friend had told her would help with the mourning process. It felt as though Scott was still there. His clothes still hung in the closet, the wood piles still beckoned him to come split them for the winter, His truck still held his cologne, and his presence still lingered in the walls of the home and greenhouse he built with his own hands. Linda alone in the middle of nowhere, mourned for the life of her husband who passed but two weeks ago. I caught myself just standing and silently loving her as the tears randomly came. Many times its not even words they wish to have but someone there to know they aren't alone.

As life continued to turn, and time didn't even slow with his passing, I learned that death is not mourned by life. Time does not flinch for the past, it just continues to turn. Because nature itself has needs that cannot be ignored. The seasons have demands and the worlds cycle has its rounds to make around the sun. It cannot slow down for heartache. It is only those that have lost their loved one that feel the ever aching pain of loss and it is in those moments that you wish time would stop and let you have a breath, a rest, or an eternity to sleep. It felt so unfair to mourn life without the comfort of life itself.

But the mountains remain still and the trees continue to tower, the clouds still pour out the rain and the sun still shines. It was a comfort that weekend as Linda stood by the back door looking out to the ranch land while the sun set. With the orange glow as the clouds sat clustered.The imminent blue of the night sky slowly crept across the horizon to convert to night. We talked of heaven and the hope for tomorrow. Though Scott is gone, her tears were not in vain because tomorrow brings another day of passing and one second closer to an eternity above.