I am wide awake and the twinkling lights in The black keep me company.
The fan beats me heavily with the wind that comes in through the window.
Perhaps this night could stay a bit longer.
I lay awake and deeply ponder.
I ponder life in the silence of my spinning ceiling fan.
The fan twirls its endless rhythm above me.
These thoughts are my own and I cannot silence them.
This is the loneliness in my soul.
Come hither, come thither it makes no difference.
My memories are painted a different color than yours.
Perhaps you see through touch and sight
But I see through the thoughts that my mind gives light.
"Wake her! Wake her!"
My mind says constantly in my dreams.
I lay awake at night wondering what these dreams mean.
Could they have purpose or are they cached emotions and fears?
I cannot tell the difference and it burdens my wearied shoulders.
Wide awake, my fan spins and the window brings in the cold breeze.
But in my thoughts a prayer begins and falls upon my lips.
They move in surrender this trust I never had before.
"Lord, keep me. I surrender all my hopes and dreams."
Slumber. Sweet slumber slowly lulls me to the deep. Where even the twinkling lights in the black canvas cannot find me in the night.
