Spiritual Sabbatical (Part 4): He Calls Us To Transformation Not Preservation

In the previous article, Spiritual Sabbatical (Part 2): What Happened On Calvary?  touched on Calvary and how the atonement was so necessary yet immensely undeserved. I explained the different aspects of Christ's suffering on the Cross and how all that He endured was the just punishment for our sin. The key to the article was that though Christ died for us and suffered for our sins, His love for us took Him to the Cross anyway even as our sin actively murdered Him. If you have not read the first three articles, please consider reading them first before beginning with the fourth. The first article is, Spiritual Sabbatical: Introduction & Spiritual Sabbatical (Part 3): We Are Slaves to Something.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:1-2) 

I think Christianity, especially in the western world has become more enraptured with "works" of holiness or more aptly put, visual representations of holiness, rather than holiness itself. As James chapter two clearly states, faith without works is dead, but our culture is more concerned with works and outward appearances and even prejudice than they are with faith. Humanity has a natural tendency to lean towards systems that promote a sense of personal control. It is much easier to control how you dress and where you go than it is to control the thoughts of your mind or the desires of your heart. Yet this is the modern issue of our time.

I am not at all diminishing the very real issues that people deal with on a daily basis. People are struggling with everyday life, they are seeking to find meaning and purpose behind the struggle they find themselves being faced with. It truly does take courage for a person to recognize that they are flawed (Christian terms such as fallen or sinful). Perhaps the real issue is a lack of self-discipline and lack of responsibility. Yet at the end of the day Christ's statutes still stand and our very real need of His redemption is paramount to our salvation.

So what is the true issue behind taking a break from God? What does a person really mean when they say that they need a break? I think there are two reasons why a person rationalizes this decision;
1) The first being that they are struggling (whether emotionally, physically and spiritually), and as a result the individual feels a sense of helplessness or even desperation.
2) Lastly it appears that the system has broke. What has been working for them in the past is not working any longer. Whether that be a religious rhetoric or a limited sense/identification with a spiritual identity & relationship.

Struggle is a natural part of life. Whether a believer or an unbeliever's struggle is a part of our walk with God and in life in general. We are a part of a fallen world. This fallen world, full of dark and grotesque realities also holds the most beautiful and grandiose moments of reality. As any person there are seasons of laughter and there are seasons of tears, of mourning and rejoicing, of peace and war (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). This is the world that we live in. That being said, I have found that in the struggle there are two responses to God that potentially take place. First, the Christian either learns a deeper intimacy with God, they learn to truly trust, hope and suffer in God or they choose to turn away from God in rejection, hurt, anger and bitterness to ease the pain they feel in the moment. I have grappled with this issue for some time. In those moments of intense suffering, how does a person not clearly perceive their deep need for their Creator? Or they do recognize their need but the pain they feel doesn't seem worth the journey it would take to reach God. It is as though the reality that they are faced with is not worth the growth or betterment but rather immediate easing of the pain they feel. I know for me personally, the fear of whether I would make it scared me so deeply. I wondered if I would recover, or perish through the process.

Even if that person were to recover from the initial bomb blast of pain, the real struggle is maintaining their faith. Now for many people, maintaining their faith is not necessarily built on a solid foundation of relationship with God, hope or faith itself, but rather on outward works of their professed religion. This of course, without any true sense of personal commitment would perish in the light of immediate suffering. I went through a life crises almost a year and a half ago... crazy how time flies but it was in the immense pain that I was in that i wrote the words, "The intensity of my pain is more powerful than my personal experience with God; therefore, the existence of my pain is more real to me than the existence of God." That thought has stuck with me... I did not realize that I didn't know God until it was absolutely necessary that I did. 

 Once I realized that I did not know God, conviction burned a hole through my soul. I was brought to a place where I recognized three pivotal things;

 1. I quite literally cannot survive without God. I have no comfort outside of God. I prayed the Psalms. God, though I did not know Him personally, desired to know me. As I sought Him for comfort I found that I was unbearably starving spiritually and that for years I deeply desired to know God on an intimate level. I just did not recognize it.
2. There is no going back, even though going forward looks like it is going to hurt me more, going back is worse. Going forward is like going into spiritual and physical fire while at the same time scooping out muck in my heart and soul. Going forward is acknowledging that God is going to challenge us beyond our present ability. He is going to stretch our faith, stretch our strength and stretch our stamina. It is quite literally a most painful experience but I recognized that if I came out at the end, I would be an overcomer of those things that plagued me in the present. Going backwards, I knew, I would stay the same. Or worse that I would digress. The very though terrified me.
3. I need God. Rejecting God is not an option because I may be hurting now but without God I would be hurting for eternity. Salvation my friend, is so very necessary. But when we become a new creature in Christ, He asks us, when He thinks we are ready to rid our lives of those things that are not of Him.

It felt as though I was caught between a catch 22. I could endeavor to feel better instantly. I knew this. I could stop striving to know God, I could stop striving to be better, I could stop striving to be used for His kingdom, I could give in to the temptations and deep desires in my heart, instead of learning self-discipline. I could RUN, run in all haste away from God due to fear! Deep seeded fear that had been conditioned since childhood. Yes I could do all these things but I would be exactly where I was and if you are honest with yourself... completely honest, you can admit that is no safe place to be. What makes the books of Psalm's beautiful? It is beautiful because David knew his God before the struggle, that when he was in the midst of persecution, suffering, mourning, and doubt, God his friend was with him as a comfort every step of the way.

If there is one thing I desire for the reader to take from this is that we are flawed and we are in much need of a perfectly loving and just God. His just nature cannot turn a blind eye to our sin, while at the same time, His love for us found a way for us to be redeemed and that is through Christ and His sacrifice on the cross. If the system has broken and you are no longer finding yourself in the green grass of religious rhetoric or you are presently suffering through life. God is prodding you to grow beyond your present circumstance. Take it as a compliment. The Lord believes in us more than we believe in ourselves. He is prodding us and enticing us to journey into a deeper level with Him. He always desires to know us deeper and use us further in the Kingdom. Gideon, Saul, David, Moses, Jacob... especially Jacob. All these men have one thing in common; they were deeply flawed but God saw more in them than they saw in themselves.

If you are in a place between whether you should persevere and know God on an intimate level or give up and continue the way you always have, even in the midst of recognizing that the system has broken. Please choose the risk of seeking God over staying the same and taking a break from Him. John Piper really hits the nail on the head in his book, "Don't Waste Your Life," when he said, "One of my aims is to explode the myth of safety and to somehow deliver you from the enchantment of security. Because it's a mirage... The tragic hypocrisy is that the enchantment of security lets us take risks every day for ourselves but paralyzes us from taking risks from others on the Calvary road of love" (Piper, 81). So in the words of John Piper, I ask you not to waste your life by what you perceive as surviving it. Let this time of suffering, struggle and challenge propel you towards a life of usefulness in the Kingdom. It is easy to write these words when you have not struggled. But as a person that has been through the fire and was faced with the same choice, I can say that I made it and I am better for it! The relationship and intimacy you have with your creator cannot be replaced with anything else. The work of the Kingdom, the cause of the Gospel, there truly is no greater joy!

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore..." (Ephesians 6:13-14a) 

In conclusion, there are two questions that R.C. Sproul posed in his book, "The Holiness of God," that I want to post here as well. Keep in mind that after reading the last three articles, the reality of God's loathing of sin, our natural sinful natures without Christ, and God's ultimate judgment of sin itself, that we must have an open heart to the reality of where we stand. That means being completely and humbly honest with yourself and God. He asked:
1. How does understanding God's wrath help you honor Him as a holy God?
2. In what ways do you need God to help you love Him?

In what ways do you NEED GOD TO HELP you love Him?... Convicting words, yet so very necessary if you desire to know Him deeper. It starts with you taking that honest step. But you have to be willing to be vulnerable.

Books to help through the process:

1. Dr. Larry Crabb, Finding God
2. Ruth Haley Barton, Invitation to Solitude & Silence
3.Harry Schaumburg, False Intimacy
4. John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life
5. Joyce Meyer, Battlefield of the Mind