I am so grateful that God gifted me with the gift of writing. There are times in life when my writing reminded me of past experiences, mindsets or spiritual lessons. I remember a time when I was reading over my old works and I came across one of my articles that I had written as a freshman in college. I read over the words that I felt so deeply to write and just began to cry. God had used me to write an article that I had written at 19 years of age, so that it would be waiting for me as a 25 year old that was struggling with that very topic. I have often said that if no one in the world ever reads my writing, I know that God has used this ministry to teach me through my own writing. I remember sitting there on my laptop, in my jammies, not fully grasping spiritually what I was writing but knowing that it was from God. No I didn't know what it was to struggle with that topic or to battle the things I was writing but I knew that it was true and that God was prodding me to write it. As I read it years later, I identified with the words so deeply and was so immensely impacted by the conviction that I knew I felt in those words.
I have always endeavored to be as transparent with my writing as I possibly can. I have always felt a special place in my heart for the broken. For some reason, it is the broken that my heart reaches out to. Their silent suffering, their trials that seem never ending and their helplessness draws me to a place where I feel compelled to be a practical help in their life situations.
This is where transparency comes into play. I am a leader. I have a deep passion for the broken. I have a deep passion for ministry and my relationship with my Creator. But, I too have faced deep brokenness. I have faced emotionally and spiritually cripalling experiences that have bruised me deep within the soul. In these moments, it was not easy to bounce back from the pain and flounder off into the distance as a joyful, happy and peaceful minister of the Gospel. I laid there shell shocked and motionless. All I could do was lay there. Does this news of brokenness somehow exempt me from ministering to the broken? No, in fact it draws me to a place of appreciation for those that are still suffering. It draws me to a place of deep empathy and conviction that though they may be shell shocked and motionless now, if they keep holding on, they will make it. There is hope in this statement. There is faith in holding on and hoping.
Dan B. Allender, wrote two books entitled, "Leading With A Limp," & "To Be Told." In my transparency, I revealed a brokenness that I am just now recovering from. However, recovering from brokenness does not somehow exempt us from the work of the Kingdom. I think that many times we place ourselves on sabbatical. I will say, however, that there are times where due to positions, certain situations and the gravity of its influence, a minister should remove themselves from certain position to allow proper healing and to work towards conflict resolution. However, if it is not a struggle that morally conflicts with a position of leadership then the real struggle is to lead and battle at the same time. So many people have the privilege of battling without the leadership aspect. It is so easy for so many people to put themselves into a spiritual timeout. They just shut down and take a break to conserve all their energy on self. Even when I have placed myself purposely out of a role of leadership, I could not escape the call. The Lord always finds you when He knows He has a plan for you. And you ALWAYS seem to find yourself back in leadership. Don't fight it, just accept what God is preparing for you. Fighting only makes it worse... Ask Jonah. At the end of the ride he still ended up in Nineveh. God has always reminded me of this truth through my writing. If all other ministries in my life were to conclude I know that my writing ministry would not.
I pray that my writings can be an encouragement to those that wonder, question and hurt. Those silent sufferers that know that they are meant for more than they have allowed themselves to live. God has more faith in us that we do in ourselves. He prepares us in strange and unique ways. Each of us is loved and dealt with uniquely by God. Though I am grateful that God has given me the gift of writing. The older I get I recognize that my writing has also been a ministry to me. God has spoken to me over and over through works I had completed years prior. I want these words to be that kind of encouragement to others when they themselves have life crises, feel a call from God but aren't sure how to proceed, or just feel comforted in the fact that we are living daily and many times ordinary human experiences while also searching for meaning in an all powerful and mighty creator! No matter the situation, I pray that people are blessed by the ministry the Lord has given me and also feel inspired to discover the ministry God has blessed them with as well.
Are you a future writer, Sunday school teacher, bible teacher, preacher, theological educator or missionary? Whatever the call may be, it is unique and beautiful because it is a gift and a talent that was blessed by God and given especially for you! Discover your gift and start to use your wings. You never know how high you can fly until you actually try.
Please be blessed!
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